Three of Clubs

Ever been odd? Maybe at times during your life people have told you that you are odd or different. Most of us will then have a survival technique kick in and make adjustments so that we appear normal, acceptable and thereby less vulnerable. Others, very few, make a life out of being thought of as odd. These have a strong sense of self and the opinions of others are seen as re-enforcements of their independent lifestyle. Many of these are artists, authors, philosophers and performers. Some others live a hermit's lifestyle even while surrounded by others.
But there are still others who really are odd. They can't find a consistent place for themselves. There will be times when they are accepted, nurtured and even lauded but that usually does not last for long. The thing about being really odd is that it is not static, it is dynamic, your oddness continues to grow, sometimes exponentially, throughout your life.
When I reached a young age, perhaps seven or eight, I can remember begging God to "turn off the movie." I knew that I was permanently odd and I knew that I had had previous life experiences that had led to this phenomena. I really did not want to go through it again especially at this advanced rate of oddness.
Well, I have survived sixty-eight years of advanced permanent oddness. I really would not like to go for another lifetime of this but I can see the benefits now. My Faith is unshakable, my love is pure agape, my acceptance of others is universal.
Now the time of my life has become quite calm and stable. Sometimes I forget how odd I am. That's when the bizarre stuff kicks in as a reminder. When I play cards (every night) I have a voice inside me that tells me the value and suit of cards that are yet to be exposed. This is with a double deck! It works for me when I am alone but when I try to show off the voice usually clams up. I say usually because sometime I can do it when I need to bring a message to someone whose faith may not be as strong as mine. I can also name and bring messages from spirit guides and long dead relatives of people. Many times these people were co-workers at hospice or strangers to me. This again reinforces my acceptance of my oddness. But what am I supposed to be doing with these "gifts?" I have applied to get back into the active priesthood several times. No luck yet, though I am supposed to have my stuff gone over by another bishop next week. I get a feeling that my oddness and deep, deep faith actually exclude me from traditional priestly ministry. Isn't that odd?
Fr. Rod