Antidisestablishmentarianism

Ever since I heard the word antidisestablishmentarianism on a quiz show in the fifties, I wanted to use it in some context. First of all I wonder if I spelled it correctly, my spell check does not recognise it. The term comes from our friends in the Anglican  (anglo-catholic) Church of England. It is all about those accused of challenging traditional church doctrine.
Today challenging church doctrine is a quite a popular sport in all faith traditions. It is a little like skeet shooting. So grab your shotgun and lets look at these pigeons. Feel free to yell pull at any time.
I grew up in an atmosphere of blind trust. We all knew what God was and what He expected of us. I myself gave up on trying to please this god when I was about thirteen. I did not give up my faith, I just condemned myself to everlasting damnation early on. I knew that I was doomed so I no longer cared if what I was doing was "sinful" or not. All I had to do was keep up the pretext through Catholic High School and I was free to be me. What I learned in religion in high school only served to bolster my acceptance of a future stoking coal in the Big Hibachi. This lasted for twenty-seven years. No hope, just mad attempts at happiness.
At forty I knew that I was dead. But I was asked to be a godparent for my cousin's baby. I was flabbergasted that I would even be considered for such a holy responsibility.  I grabbed at this chance like a drowning man for a life jacket.  I came home to the church that gave me new life. Three years later I was in the seminary studying for the priesthood.
I felt very ill at ease in the seminary. Firstly because I still had mega doubts about how doctrine was promulgated in the church. The whole process seemed so unlike the wonderful acceptance and forgiveness I experienced in my homecoming. Nothing much seemed to have changed. What had changed was me. I now saw church as a vessel charged with carrying a precious cargo of loving forgiveness meant for all who met her. But I also saw her crewed by many who demanded high tariffs for a cargo that was given to them freely.
This is where my word anti... comes in. Despite my misgivings I decided to help crew the vessel. But when we got to port I would join those on the fantail quietly passing the gifts over the side to waiting beggars in leaky canoes. The main cargo was being strictly controlled by the officers and they were collecting the proper fees on the wharf.
When the loyal crew found out about our unsanctioned largess  we were set ashore without stipend to fend for ourselves. The landlubbers did not know what to do with us. Weren't we supposed to stay on board?  But some discovered that we had smuggled enough of the cargo ashore that there is more than enough for all. This upset some of the lubbers not to mention the powers that be. How dare we give away for free the bread from their table? So they tighten up the security. People still come to the fantail (the back of the boat) to beg for a crumb of the cargo, but now they are shooed away by the royal loyal crew (clergy).
Bottom line: The cargo is real and aplenty, the vessel is sea worthy, the crew is afraid to go out over their heads.
We will survive their imagined terrors. The gifts we already have will sustain us until a new crew is readied.
Hang in there.
Cap'n Rod  (former pirate)